Rulers, diplomats, and dictators who never opened their mail.

He painted a sign over the back door reading THIS WAY TO THE EGRESS, and patrons walked through it expecting a beast.

A Greek priest's daughter, taken by raiders at fourteen, spent the next forty-six years running the Ottoman Empire from behind a latticed screen above the Imperial Council.

In 1920, an Albanian delegation walked into the League of Nations looking for a king and asked the nearest plausible Englishman.

What happens when colonists canonize a dead chief they never asked, dress up in bucktail hats, and dance "in the style of those people" while actual Native delegations watch from the docks?

Alexander von Humboldt, the most celebrated scientist alive, wrote to the dictator of Paraguay personally. Francia made no answer. For nine years.