The Man Who Shook the King's Hand

Jemmy Hirst was a Yorkshire farmer who, at the age of twenty-five, decided his father's bull calf would make a fine horse. He named it Jupiter, fitted it with a saddle and bridle, and trained it to jump fences. He rode it to fox hunts, using pigs as pointers instead of dogs.

This was one of his more restrained ideas.

He built a wicker carriage with enormous wheels and an odometer of his own design that rang a bell every mile. When Jupiter found it hard to pull, Hirst fitted the carriage with sails. A crosswind in Pontefract flung him through the window of a draper's shop. The town banned him from sailing back through the streets, so the crowd yoked themselves to his carriage and towed him out like a hero — until the wind picked up again and Hirst spread his sails and vanished over the horizon.

His fame eventually reached King George III, who sent an invitation to court. Hirst wrote back that he was busy training otters to fish, but would come later. When he finally arrived — in a coat of lambskin patches and a waistcoat made from drakes' necks — he was instructed in the proper way to kneel and kiss the royal hand.

Instead, he grabbed it, shook it, and said: "Eh, I'm glad to see thee such a plain owd chap. If thou ever comes to Rawcliffe, step in and give me a visit."

The king sent him home with bottles from the royal wine cellar.