wit
Masters of the insult, the exit line, and the well-timed chicken.
The Man Who Couldn't Do Anything He Did
What kind of person collects boats but can't swim, collects cars but can't drive, and flies six continents while terrified of planes — and what cartoon character did he accidentally become?
The Witch of Wall Street
What kind of woman eats cold oatmeal for lunch, sleeps with a revolver tied to her hand, and gets a personal visit from J.P. Morgan asking for financial advice?
The Man Who Laughed at Everything
He correctly described the structure of all matter in the universe. Plato tried to have his books burned. Plato won.
The Knight Whose Insult Became a Mozart Composition
He had a second, fancier iron hand built for Sundays.
The Man Who Could Not Fail
He shipped coal to Newcastle during a miners' strike and sold every piece at a premium.
The Man Who Shook the King's Hand
He kept pigs as hunting dogs, trained otters to fish, and when the King of England finally summoned him to court, he had a scheduling conflict.
The Man Who Died Facing West
He delivered three-hour speeches that left grown legislators pale and silent, in a voice that never finished puberty.
The Man Who Never Opened His Mail
When Satie died, his friends entered his apartment for the first time in twenty-seven years.
The Poet Who Brought a Bear to College
When Trinity College banned dogs from student rooms, Byron checked the statutes, confirmed they said nothing about bears, and installed one.
The Man Who Plucked the Chicken
Plato defined a human being as a featherless biped, and someone showed up with a chicken.
The Man Who Ate Everything
William Buckland was a leading scientist who also made eating animals a research side quest.