wit
Masters of the insult, the exit line, and the well-timed chicken.
The Drum Generally Heals Up
What kind of man asks his colleagues to poke him awake if he stops breathing, and considers a perforated eardrum a social asset?
Prizes Are For Boys
What does it take to invent modern estate planning, compose polytonal symphonies on weekends, and then leave a Pulitzer-winning piece in a drawer for thirty-six years?
The Man Who Set Mathematics Back a Month
He owned two half-empty suitcases, had 511 collaborators, and once won a $500 bet he immediately regretted.
Lord Berners and the Elephant Problem
What happens when a man Stravinsky called Britain's best composer places a classified ad selling elephants he doesn't own — and names the buyers?
Sei Shōnagon Had Opinions
What kind of person files pear blossoms under "most vulgar thing in the world" and then puts functional tweezers on the same list as the impossibility of lasting love?
The Man Who Couldn't Do Anything He Did
What kind of person collects boats but can't swim, collects cars but can't drive, and flies six continents while terrified of planes — and what cartoon character did he accidentally become?
The Witch of Wall Street
What kind of woman eats cold oatmeal for lunch, sleeps with a revolver tied to her hand, and gets a personal visit from J.P. Morgan asking for financial advice?
The Man Who Laughed at Everything
He correctly described the structure of all matter in the universe. Plato tried to have his books burned. Plato won.
The Knight Whose Insult Became a Mozart Composition
He had a second, fancier iron hand built for Sundays.
The Man Who Could Not Fail
He shipped coal to Newcastle during a miners' strike and sold every piece at a premium.
The Man Who Shook the King's Hand
He kept pigs as hunting dogs, trained otters to fish, and when the King of England finally summoned him to court, he had a scheduling conflict.
The Man Who Died Facing West
He delivered three-hour speeches that left grown legislators pale and silent, in a voice that never finished puberty.